“Research form the University of Michigan shows that the right dose of constructive criticism is actually one of the biggest factors in predicting a high performing team. And research from John Gottman, Ph.D., a top relationship researcher, also found there’s a sweet spot for how much criticism helps keep relationships alive.
Both teams of researchers arrived at a similar conclusion: in order to keep a relationship or work team performing well, five or six positive interactions were needed for every one criticism or negative interaction.”
So every time you yell at, put down, are sarcastic with, or just say something negative to a spouse, partner, child, employee, etc., you’ve got to say 5 or 6 positive things to make up for it…and then you’re just back to ground zero again! Say something negative, 5-6 more positives, ad infinatum. And to get ahead of the curve, you’ve got to build (as Stephen Covey used to say) an “emotional bank account”, a reservoir of positivity, so that when you make a “withdrawal” (i.e., say something negative), there’s enough gas in the tank to weather the storm.